You can do anything you want

You can do anything you want

I admit that I lack a great deal of confidence in myself.  I’m trying to work on that, but it’s baby steps for me.  This lack of confidence spreads into all aspects of my life, including my work.  Although I think I’m a pretty good photographer, I feel that there are so many photographers out there who are better than me.  Whenever I look at various online blogs that feature stunning wedding and portrait photography, I wish to myself that I could produce work as great as that.  I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to others.  After all, we’re all at various stages in our lives and careers.  I also know that comparing oneself to others is a huge no-no.  However, it’s hard for me to not do that.  I also know that comparison is the thief of joy.  Boy, do I know that well.

comparison is the theif of joy

There are two sides to this comparison business though, at least for me.  I must admit that in comparing myself with other photographers, I’ve also seen that my skills are not too shabby.  I’ve seen some photography that has been featured on blogs and think to myself, “My work is as good as theirs.  Why can’t my photos be there too?”  And with that reasoning, I decided after all of these years that my work is good enough to be showcased on photography websites.

The Road to Gaining Confidence in Myself

Last year, I had decided that I’d try and get my photography featured on various websites.  However, I was so busy last year taking a full-time course at school, that I had very little time for trying to submit my photos for publication.  However, now that I have a little more time these days, I’ve been able to spend some time submitting my photos.  My goal this year was to get 10 of my photography sessions published this year.  I’m happy to say that reached my goal of 10 published features.

I’m so happy and proud of myself.  It did it!  I really did it!  That’s a lot coming from a girl whose inner voice usually says, “I can’t.”  I remember as a child having anxiety that I would never be able to count money or tell time.  No joke.  I’ve had way too many instances throughout my life in which I was a negative Nellie towards myself.  I’ve always had faith for others, but for myself, most of the time it’s been the opposite.  There are also many instances when I think to myself that it’s a wonder that I did so many great things in my life because I never seem to have enough faith in my own abilities.

I remember years ago going to a therapist for a traumatic work-related incident (I got robbed at gun point when I worked at a bank).  She was there to help me deal with the trauma.  However, we talked about so many different things during our sessions.  I remember telling her about a guy that I liked and that I couldn’t talk to him because I felt completely inadequate.  I remember her saying to me, “How many people do you know who have graduated university and travelled all over the world?”  It made me think a little on that.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

I think part of the turnaround for me was when I was trying to talk my daughter into doing something that I knew she was capable of doing and she kept saying to me, “I can’t.”  Those words pierced me.  They haunted me because I knew my inner voice had been talking out loud and she heard it.  I didn’t want those words to be the mantra of my daughter.  I wanted them to be gotten rid of, to be gone for good.  So, in order to kick them to curb, I needed to tell that inner voice to be quiet, to shut up.

Getting My Work Published

I did it more for myself than for my photography career.  Of course, it’s great to announce to my clients that my work is good enough to be published.  However, it’s even better for my self esteem to know that all of the blood, sweat and tears has finally paid off.  I know it’s so cliché to say this, but photography truly is my passion.  I live and breathe it every day.  Whenever I go out, my eyes see how light falls on objects.  I see the subtle colour and light changes everywhere.  So many times while doing ordinary everyday things, I think to myself, “I wish I had my camera with me.”  Annie Leibovitz is one of my all-time favourite portrait photographers.  She once said, “One doesn’t stop seeing. One doesn’t stop framing. It doesn’t turn off and turn on. It’s on all the time.”  Yup, for me it’s on ALL. THE. TIME.

chase your dreams

I’m proud to present the links to all of my featured photo sessions within the last 12 months:

  1. Beauty & Lifestyle Mommy Magazine
  2. Ottawa Wedding Magazine
  3. Little Peanut Magazine
  4. Ottawa Wedding Magazine
  5. Beauty & Lifestyle Mommy Magazine
  6. Life and Lens
  7. Life and Lens
  8. Beauty & Lifestyle Mommy Magazine
  9. Beauty & Lifestyle Mommy Magazine
  10. Bride Box Wedding Albums
  11. I Heart Pregnancy
  12. Ottawa Wedding Magazine
  13. Daydreaming Bride
  14. Plans and Presents
  15. Plans and Presents
  16. I Heart Pregnancy
  17. Weddabroad
  18. Your Theme Party
  19. Weddabroad
  20. The Party Wagon
  21. The Frosted Petticoat
  22. The Westchester Wedding Planner (3 of my photos were featured.)
  23. Your Theme Party
  24. Kara’s Party Ideas
  25. The Westchester Wedding Planner (One of my photos was featured.)
  26. Weddabroad
  27. Your Theme Party
  28. I Heart Faces
  29. Ottawa Wedding Magazine
  30. Brown Sparrow Wedding
  31. Weddabroad
  32. Melissa Hearts Weddings
  33. Weddabroad
  34. Wedding Thingz
  35. Toddler Friends
  36. Equal and Forever
  37. Tiny Prints